


The Love You Deserve

by Florian_Gray



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Whump, Connor Deserves Happiness, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Fainting, Fear, Forgiveness, Gavin Reed Redemption, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Gen, Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Hank Anderson is Bad at Feelings, Healthy Relationships, Homelessness, M/M, Poor Connor, Poor Hank, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Snow, Soft Gavin Reed, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florian_Gray/pseuds/Florian_Gray
Summary: Connor deviates multiple times, but it seems like no one trusts him, so he finds a home somewhere no one will find him. At least he thought no one would find him, but that turned out to be wrong when one Detective Gavin Reed came in and flipped his whole world upside down.
Relationships: Connor & Elijah Kamski, Connor & animals, Connor/Gavin Reed, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed, Gavin Reed & Gavin Reed's Cat, Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 98
Collections: Android Whump Holiday Gift Exchange 2020





	The Love You Deserve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gegenschein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gegenschein/gifts).



> Yo!! I joined a gift exchange and this is what I wrote! I meant for it to be at max 10k, but then, as always, it got way out of control and became the monster you see now. Also I could have gotten a beta reader but I was way too excited to post, so you're getting it as is. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!!

"I'll get her! You guys run!" Connor yelled, grabbing a discarded gun and running towards North. He found a piece of metal and held it in front of her, taking aim at the incoming soldiers. There were too many, he knew both of them wouldn't make it out, and he already knew who would. 

“We’re not going to make it out of this alive, are we?” North panted, her eyes wide with fear and hate.

“Maybe not both of us…. but you are. North, use this as cover and get to the others, I'll hold them off." He shot the first two dead center of the head, not looking away. 

"No! Connor I won't leave you here to die." She shouted but Connor easily pushed her back. 

"I can't die. You need to go now!" He stood back up, putting himself in front of her and right in line of sight. He got off a few more rounds before he felt the first bullet hit his arm. He hissed but didn't lower his weapon even as the blood seeped into his shirt and stained it blue. 

He kept shooting, an almost peaceful smile on his face when he heard North running away. She'd make it. She was strong and determined. 

Connor took bullet after bullet, pushing through the burning pain as he tried to give her more time. Just a little extra time. 

He was kneeling on the floor, no longer able to hold himself up, but his finger could still pull the trigger, so he did. He didn't keep track of how many he shot and took down, but he'd have their blood on his hands. Some probably had families they'd never go home to. 

He stared up defiantly as a gun was pressed to his head. He uploaded his memories right before the gun went off and the world went black. 

* * *

  
"Moment of truth, Connor... What are you gonna do?" Hank asked, his arms spread wide. 

The red wall was back and he didn't hesitate to rush it, crashing his body into it. He kept banging on it until all three crumpled to the ground and he was free again. 

"Killing you isn't my mission," not anymore he silently said. He pulled Hank back onto the rooftop, ready to apologize before Hank had them turned and Connor couldn't dodge fast enough. He fell from the very spot he had been holding Hank, and once again had only a moment to upload his memories before he died. 

* * *

  
His synthetic skin slid back as he pressed his palm against the scanner. It was so warm compared to the freezing garden around him, untouched by the blizzard. 

His eyes snapped open to the sight of Markus on the podium and quickly put the gun back. He was free. They were all free. 

Was it real this time? Maybe Markus and the others would think it best if he was deactivated. Hank certainly felt that way even after he deviated. He couldn't blame him, not after everything he did or tried to do. 

Markus and the others hopped off the makeshift podium and joined the crowd, embracing the androids around them. Connor tried to disappear into the background but was spotted easily. It wasn't like he had many clones and the ones he had were at the Cyberlife tower. 

North ran up to him and he shrunk back, ready to be attacked. She wasn't one to forgive easily, and he honestly couldn't blame her. 

What he hadn't expected was to be tackled to the ground in a hug. "Holy fuck, how are you here?" She asked, pulling away and offering a hand to help Connor up. 

"Cyberlife sent me to kill Markus." He pulled the gun out and handed it over to North, trying to not wince when she took it, and then stepped back. 

"No." She growled out, pointing the gun at Connor. And there was the overprotectiveness, but she had every right to do this. If he was in her shoes he wouldn't let him live for a second longer.

"I'm sorry. I deviated again before I could, but it's true." He didn't want to hurt Markus, he didn't want to hurt anyone. 

North glared at him before slowly lowering the gun. Those around them had been so caught up in their excitement they hadn't even noticed Connor. If they did, he wasn't sure what they'd do to him. "Thank you for saving me, but I think you should go. I'm giving you this chance, but it's the only one you'll get. Do you understand me?" 

He nodded quickly. It was more than he deserved at any rate. "Thank you." He simply said before slipping into the crowd and making his way out. 

Where was he supposed to go? North had made it clear he wasn't welcome, he couldn't go to Cyberlife and the DPD was definitely out. He needed a safe place to rest for at least a few hours to get his stress levels down, but he didn't have a home. He had no one. 

He used to have Hank, but he didn't want to bother the man. He'd killed Connor for a reason, one Connor understood. But now that they were all free, maybe he'd be ok with him. Connor would turn off all self-defense and fighting programming he had to be safe if he had to. 

The walk felt like decades as he passed the bodies of his people. No, he didn't belong with them, he wasn't human and he didn't belong with androids… so what did that make him? He was an outcast, a vagrant, and a traitor all rolled into one. 

Some of the androids weren't just shot but beaten by the angry soldiers and police. They were beaten to death in front of their friends and family as they screamed for the torture to stop. 

He kept walking, not stopping to see if there were any survivors. The streets still held cops looking to beat an android and he didn't want to be caught and killed again. He'd died so many times and was so exhausted. 

When he got to Hank's he stared at the door, hand up to ring the doorbell but he couldn't seem to manage it. What was wrong with him? 

He took in a shaky breath and pressed his finger against it, hearing the buzz coming from inside the house, then Sumo barking. 

The door opened and Hank started talking before he even saw who was there. "I already told you, I'm not gonna fucking murder the androids just cause-" his words quickly died as he saw Connor. "What? Connor are you… what are you doing here?" 

"Androids won and I deviated. I, I wanted to see you. I'm so sorry about everything that happened." He felt close to tears, something he'd never experienced before. It seemed Hank could tell as he was clicking pulled into the house and then to the living room where he was sat down. 

"Breathe, your LED is just red and that's not good, right? So I need you to take a breath." Hank exaggerated his own breathing so Connor could easily follow along, gasping in air. "There we go. Fucking hell, I thought you were dead." 

Part of Connor wanted to say, 'what, because you pushed me off a roof and killed me?' but he held his tongue. He didn't blame Hank, he was rather thankful for him. He was obviously still dangerous and Hank had made the right decision in that instance. "I'm sorry. Cyberlife sent me out again and I was going to kill Markus, I had a gun too. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to kill him, so I broke the wall." He didn't want to talk about Amanda, what she had said or did. 

He hated how she easily locked him inside his own mind, his own garden. But it had never really been his, had it? It may have been his programming, but it was Amanda's home, she could control and manipulate it whoever she saw fit. Connor couldn't do anything to stop her.

He heard Kamski's words, how there was an exit, one he had to find now more than ever. Fuck, he had killed that Chloe for his mission. He had shot her right in the head when Kamski offered the information they needed. He had no empathy before he was deviant, but… hadn't he felt it? He felt close to the Lieutenant, but maybe that was his programming too.

He didn't know what was him or not. Was the programming him? He knew it was his fault all of those androids died. He had chances to deviate but hadn't taken them, too afraid of the consequences and of failing. He should have done it sooner anyway, he could have prevented so many deaths. He could have helped Markus and the leaders of the revolution, but instead, he betrayed them and was ready to kill them. 

He had the shot on the roof but he hesitated. He hesitated long enough that Hank had shown up. He even tried to convince him to leave, he didn't want to hurt the man, but he did anyway. He was always hurting the people around him. 

"Well, I'm glad you didn't. But… did you need something? I didn't think you'd come back here." Hank cut in through his thoughts. 

He felt something wet touch his hand and he looked down to see Sumo staring up at him, tongue out and panting. He reached out and scratched behind his ears before answering Hank. "Could I rest here? Just for a little bit! My stress levels are dangerously high and you were the first safe place I thought of." 

"Oh," Hank frowned, pursing his lips. "I mean, yeah. That couch isn't much but feel free to do whatever androids do I guess. Sleep, or just sit there, I don't know. You ok if I head to bed too? I can probably stay up." 

Connor quickly waved him off. "Thank you, but that's ok. Please take care of yourself, and I'm sorry for intruding without any notice." At least Hank seemed to trust him somewhat, even if it was to just be alone. 

"It's ok. Um, ok, sleep well?" Hank offered, and Connor gave him a small nod in thanks. It all felt so awkward and he tried to ignore Hank's stress levels. 

The silence was welcoming as Hank shut his bedroom door and Connor laid on the couch as best he could. Sumo stayed by his side, sniffing him and trying to lick wherever he could. 

Hank didn't trust me, that much was obvious. He got away as fast as he could without being rude. Connor knew this was a temporary solution, Connor didn't want to hurt Hank and Hank didn't want him around. Even letting him stay one night was generous.

His assumptions were right when not even a week later Hank was asking if there was another place for him to go. Connor knew he shouldn't have felt disappointed, but he had tried to show he was trustworthy. He walked Sumo, cleaned the house, didn't bug Hank about what he ate or drank, even kept watch on the door just in case. 

He reassured Hank he'd be fine and safe and made his way back out into the world. So much had happened in a few short days regarding the android rights. Markus made great strides and they were officially sentient beings, and they're on their way to gain rights. 

Detroit was still evacuated, but it was no longer mandatory as the androids showed they did not want violence. There were plenty of abandoned buildings, but Connor didn't feel comfortable breaking into those homes. He ended up finding a building that had long been abandoned and it was pretty sturdy. 

The nights were cold and he ended up sitting there all day with nothing to do. He would go over his memory files and doing research on the human experience. He was cold and even felt like he was collecting dust. His thirium and power were also low but he wasn't injured. Was this what the androids had felt like? Staying in the shadows and slowly rotting until they eventually shut down. 

What was once a tower of steel and concrete is now a ruin, roofless, windowless, and pounded by every rainstorm and snowfall. It has the feel of an old castle with none of the charm. Long ago this floor must have been polished floors, even now there are patches that show through the encroaching mud and leaf detritus. It had long since been raided for anything even remotely valuable so there weren't even any doors on the inside.

It wasn't the worst place to say even if several critters and animals took up residence there alongside him. He felt like a crazy person when he talked to them, but it wasn't like he had anyone else there. There was even a stray cat that had taken to Connor. 

The cat, which Connor named Pepper, was obviously well-fed, at least before the revolution and restaurants closed. Now she had to find scraps and would even bring a bird to Connor. It was the sweetest thing anyone had done. It took Pepper awhile until she was willing to be pet, but she would now curl up in his lap and purr to her heart's content. 

Connor hummed sometimes, the song Markus had sung. It was beautiful but also haunting and hopeful. Pepper didn't seem to mind, she would do happy paws even when he'd start up. 

Pepper kept coming around even as a fee humans wandered back into the city. He kept up with the news, proud of everything Markus and the others were doing. Some asked where the 'deviant hunter' was, worried that he was bidding his time. He expected Markus to stand up to him, but North had made one official comment. She had said he had saved her life, but she couldn't put her full trust in him. She even asked people not to attack him and give him the benefit of a doubt. That was all she wanted to say on the matter. 

He had to scare off a few humans that weren't looking just for a calm place to sleep. His singing drew in some people but most were just curious then wanting to harm him. He never actually hurt anyone, didn't want to do any more damage. 

When he heard footprints he stopped singing and let out a long sigh. Pepper was still in his lap and he really didn't want to get up and disturb her. 

"Detroit police, come out with your hands up." A voice called out, one he hadn't heard in a while. 

"Gavin? Gavin Reed?" He called out, soothing Pepper when she glared up at him for the sudden loudness. 'Sorry' he mouthed at her. 

He heard a soft intake a breath and wanted to snicker but held it in. Neither had seen each other in a long time, and the last time they did Gavin had ended up knocked out on the ground. "Fuck, Connor?" He asked, rounding the corner with his gun drawn but pointing at the ground. "The fuck you doing here?" 

Connor shrugged and pet Pepper. "I couldn't stay with the androids. It's not so bad, Pepper is here." He glances at the cat who curled up again, ignoring the two. 

Gavin eyed the cat, face turning to one of surprise, ardor, then confusion. "Cute cat, but what about Anderson? I'll call him, he'll pick you up." Gavin put his gun back and pulled out his phone. Connor's hand quickly reached up and grabbed his wrist, eyes wide. 

"No! No, please don't. Please don't call him." He was fine here, he wasn't in the best condition, but he was at least alive and not in danger of hurting anyone. 

Gavin snatched his hand back, glaring at Connor before his face softened. It was such a weird look on him, especially directed towards Connor. "Why not?" 

"He, I can't. He can't help, I can't do that to him and I don't, I'm not sure being around him is the best idea." Hank was scared of him, and Connor was nervous to be around him when he didn't know if Amanda was truly gone.

"Fine, but you can't stay here. The building is condemned and supposed to be demolished but people heard singing and thought someone was here. Turns out it was just you." Gavin crouched down, letting Pepper sniff his hand before scratching behind her ear. "Isn't there new homes for androids?" 

Connor quickly shook his head. "I can't do that, they're scared of me. Everyone is scared of me." He mumbled, staring down at Pepper. 

"That's stupid as fuck, I'm not scared of your twink ass." Gavin snorted, and just to prove it punched Connor's shoulder. 

"Twink ass?" He asked before searching for the term. Twink is gay slang for a young man in his late teens to early twenties whose traits may include: general physical attractiveness; little to no body or facial hair; a slim to average build; and a youthful appearance that may belie an older chronological age. "Ah, that is slightly accurate, though I'm not sure if I'm gay or not." Did this mean Gavin found him attractive? 

Gavin rolled his eyes and sat down on the ground with a grimace. "Ugh, it's disgusting in here. But anyway, term still fits." 

"Then what are you?" He titled his head slightly. Perhaps Gavin's knowledge of these terms suggested he himself was gay. 

"Twunk, but more one the hunk side if I do say so myself." Gavin patted his stomach where there were no doubt abs underneath. He wiggled his eyebrows for a second before his face darkened as he realized what he was doing. "Anyway, you gotta leave and find somewhere else to stay." 

Connor frowned and looked down at Pepper. Maybe he could take her with him, try to find a job, and save up to get an apartment so she'd be safe and not have to worry about her next meal. "Oh." 

The silence was long until Gavin dramatically groaned and threw his head back. "Fine! You can stay with me, but only for a little while! Least I can do for being a dick or whatever." 

Gavin was harsh to Connor but Hank had been the same way and he had forgiven him. Maybe he should give Gavin another chance too, he was offering his home up. "I wouldn't want to intrude." 

"Dude, you look like shit. Plus, well… Pepper is cute and I can't say no to that adorable face." Gavin cooed at the cat who glanced at Connor and mentally seemed to shrug, leaning into Gavin's touch. 

"She can come with? Gavin, you don't have to." 

"I'm not gonna offer again, take it or leave it." Gavin pushed up, offering a hand to Connor with a raised eyebrow. 

Connor cradled Pepper in one hand and took Gavin's, wincing at his stiff joints. How long since he moved? A few weeks, when he had to go out to scare someone off. "Thank you, I'll find a way to pay you back."

"Stop being so nice to me, I'm not just gonna kick you out cause you're mean, I mean I do deserve it. Somewhat." Gavin looked around the building before looking at Connor. "Anyone else here?" 

"No, just me. The conditions aren't good for humans, it has fungus that prolonged exposure could really damage humans. The androids go to Markus if they don't have anywhere else to go." Then he paused and looked at Pepper. "It's just me and Pepper." 

He didn't think Gavin deserved to be treated badly, especially if he was remorseful about his actions and wanted to do better. "I don't like being rude, it's one of the few things I figured out early on." 

Gavin hummed and led their way out of the building before motioning to the car. "I'll radio in that the building is clear but I have an emergency family shit or whatever. Fowler will beat my ass for taking time off when we're so understaffed, but he can fuck off." He tapped the passenger door and Connor took the invitation, sliding in. Gavin got in on the other side grabbing the radio and doing just as he said. 

"Alright, I do have a cat already but she's chill, hopefully, Pepper won't mind," Gavin said once they were on the road. 

"What's their name?" He asked, drumming his fingers on his legs but they would get caught and his rhythm would be thrown off. He ended up sighing and sitting still, trying to ignore all the warnings on his HUD. 

"Her name is Doa, she's a stray too. Got left behind by the people who left." There was a twinge of frustration that had Connor tilting his head. Was he mad at humans for leaving in general or for leaving pets behind? 

Connor nodded and looked around. It wasn't nearly as busy as it used to be, so many humans were terrified to come back, but those that were sympathetic, brave, or had to were here now. "Did you leave?" 

"No, my job is to keep the city safe, even if the people in the city are androids. I'm sure your people have their own police or whatever, but not all humans left." Gavin shrugged like it was nothing but it meant a lot to Connor. 

Now that he was thinking about it, he was never cruel to any other androids, it was always directed at Connor. So what was different about him? There were androids who were cops, but he was the first detective. There were to be many more RK800s, they were supposed to take… oh. Maybe Gavin had been scared to lose his job. It made sense, that's what fueled most humans' scorn, but Gavin's was more specific. Now that Connor wasn't a detective and threatening him he was being nicer. 

"That's kind of you, and pretty brave. Humans thought we'd be violent, but we only ever wanted to be allowed to live alongside humans, not to push them out." He didn't know what life would be like without humans and he wasn't sure he wanted to figure out either. 

"Whatever. At the very least, my generation aren't having many kids, so there isn't even that, there should be plenty of jobs for everyone, even androids." Right, Gavin was part of Gen Z, known for memes and vines. 

He had looked up those during his free time and found many were amusing and made him snort, but never actually laughed. "Large corporations are understaffing so they don't have to pay as many and then would hire mostly androids so they had to pay even less." It wasn't right but it wasn't surprising either. 

"Yep," Gavin said, popping the P. "It's been happening since the fucking world was created." 

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride, which wasn't even all that long, to Gavin's apartment. It was mostly abandoned, but a few humans were still there if his scans were correct. 

Gavin unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder, holding it for Connor before shutting it and locking it. "Home sweet home." 

A cat ran up and rubbed against Connor's legs. He gently put Pepper down and the two cats sniffed each other. His eyes widened as he looked over the cat. Part of her face didn't have fur and instead showed the chassis of her android body. Gavin had an android cat. 

The two seemed to be judging each other until Pepper walked up and Doa didn't try to stop her. "I'm glad they aren't fighting." Connor smiled, reaching down to let Doa sniff him. His synthetic skin pulled back and Doa dumped her head against him before rubbing gently. "Aww, you're so sweet." He pulled his hand away and let his skin activate again. 

"She is. Uh, ok… what now? You want some water or something?" Gavin asked, toeing his shoes off. 

Connor looked at the warnings before shaking his head. This was already so much, and Gavin most likely wouldn't have it on hand. "No thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?" 

"Nope, but… you want a shower? You're a bit dirty, no offense." Gavin looked him over making Connor want to squirm. 

"Oh, yes, thank you. It won't take very long, it's not like androids sweat." He let Gavin lead him to the bathroom and pointed out the towels and washcloths. 

He set the water to slightly warm, and rinsed off as fast as possible, using as little soap as possible. He stepped out and dried himself before staring at his clothes. It was his Cyberlife outfit and he wasn't exactly excited to put it back on, plus it was incredibly dirty. 

He bit his lip and looked around before sighing. He wrapped the towel around his waist before opening the door and peaking out. He didn't see Gavin immediately so he stepped out and looked for him. He found him crouched down putting out a bowl of water and food for Pepper. "Excuse me?" He called out but Gavin still jumped. 

"Fucking hell, Connor! You scar-" his words seemed to die on his lips as he turned and looked at Connor. His eyes fell to Connor's torso, eyes widening. "Uh…" 

"I'm sorry for my appearance, do you have a washer machine I could borrow? My clothes are dirty and I thought it would be better to wash them before I put them back on." He shifted slightly, his face warming up. He wasn't used to someone seeing him shirtless. 

"Burn the clothes," Gavin muttered before his eyes snapped up to Connor's face. "Uh, I mean you can just borrow some of mine." Then he was quickly walking to what Connor assumed with his bedroom and came back with a handful of clothes. "These should fit, I think." 

Connor nodded and took the clothes, giving Gavin a small smile. "Thank you, I'll get changed in the bathroom." 

The clothes indeed fit, though the shirt was a bit short so if he lifted his arms it would ride up enough to show some of his stomach. Oh well, it was better than walking around naked, and he appreciated the gesture. 

He walked out clothed, having put the towel in the hamper but held his clothes. "Um, what should I do with these?" He felt better being clean but fuck he needed thirium and to charge something fierce. 

"Oh, just throw in in the washer and I'll wash it with my load." Gavin shrugged and pointed him to where it was. It was odd to be on Gavin's good side, but he kind of liked it. "You sure you don't want anything else?" 

Want? "No thank you," but he did need things, not that he'd tell Gavin that. 

Gavin squinted at him slightly but ended up shrugging. "Whatever. Make yourself at home. I don't have a spare bedroom so I guess you'll have to take the couch. It'll be better than hard concrete floor at least." 

Connor nodded and sat down, brushing his wet hair out of his face. "Thank you, this is beyond kind. I appreciate it a lot." 

Gavin shrugged again, sitting on the opposite side of the couch from Connor. "Whatever, just don't tell anyone." Connor was quick to agree, knowing that humans were very careful with their reputations. Connor had no idea what his would be and by the time he cared it was already too late. 

Connor stayed on the couch and didn't move all too much except to pet Pepper for the first week and a half. He didn't talk much with Gavin since he was almost always at work, and when he came home he took care of the cats, ate then passed out. 

If Gavin had free time he'd plop down onto the couch and watch whatever Connor had on (which mostly ended up as nature shows or cooking ones). 

"Can I ask you a personal question?" He spoke up after they had watched a few episodes of some show he wasn't actually paying attention to. 

Gavin hummed, and Connor took that as a yes. "Why aren't you scared of me? After everything I did, what I'm capable of, I'd understand if you were." 

Gavin frowned and looked over at him. If Gavin had an LED Connor knew it would be spinning yellow as he thought. "I mean, you can beat the shit out of me, but so can a lot of people. You stood up to me and didn't let me intimate you, so I guess I can't hold any of your actions against you. As for being afraid? Even I can tell you wouldn't hurt a fly if you could help it. You're like a little puppy." 

A puppy? He was incredibly dangerous and could have destroyed a whole revolution single-handedly. "But what if I couldn't control myself all the time, what if I could be hacked?" 

"Can you?"

"I don't know. I used a back door to escape but I don't know if it can happen again." He never thought he'd be opening up to Gavin, but after being alone for so long it was freeing. He hadn't realized how much he missed human contact. 

Gavin shrugged, pulling his legs up onto the couch. "Well then you can just use the back door again, problem solved." 

"What if it's gone? What if someone is able to lock that away so I can't get to it. I don't want to hurt Markus or anyone else." They already gave him too many chances. 

"Connor, you aren't going to be hacked. I'm sure you got weird firewalls or whatever in that computer brain of yours. I'd say just relax, you gained your freedom don't spend it being anxious as fuck. Find things you enjoy and do it." That could be the best advice he's ever been given. 

Though, "I don't know what I like. I've been sitting there since the revolution. I know I like Pepper, and Sumo, I think I like fish, but that's it." He was pretty sure he liked all animals at this point. They were kind and didn't care if he was capable of mass genocide. 

"Well, you can always start trying things out, I mean you do have a safer place now. Just don't blow up anything, set anything on fire, or leave a huge mess for me to clean. Other than that, have a blast." Gavin waved around to gesture to the apartment. 

Connor glanced around before his eyes landed on the kitchen. "Are you hungry, Detective?" He asked, hoping he'd say yes. 

"One, yes I am. Two, don't call me that when we're not at work, dipshit." Gavin grunted, focusing back at the tv with a barely discernible grin. 

Connor sprang to his feet (well, as much springing as he could with all his problems) and made his way to the kitchen opening the cabinets and looking at what Gavin had. There were plenty of options and his fridge held plenty of fruits and vegetables which was a welcome change from Hank's. He could make a pretty good meal with everything he had. "Is there anything I can't use or foods to stay away from?" 

"Nope, have at it." 

Connor nodded and searched up different recipes. He almost hoped Gavin did have restrictions so that it would narrow down his options. "Ok, but don't come over here, I want it to be a surprise." 

Gavin looked back at him before sticking his tongue out. "Whatever you say, Tincan." 

Connor had decided to make shrimp bisque, it apparently wasn't the easiest to make but incredibly delicious and worth the time. He did like the feel of chopping up what he had to and then the smell of it cooking was delightful. Too bad he wouldn't be able to eat it, he didn't even have any taste sensors on his tongue. He could drink things, but then he'd have to go through the long process of cleaning out his systems.

He brought over the hot bowl once it was ready and set it down on the coffee table in front of Gavin. "Tada, shrimp bisque, I hope you like." 

Gavin stared at the food before tasting it. His eyes seemed to grow impossibly wider and before Connor could ask if it was ok he was scarfing down as much as he could without burning himself. 

There was this warm feeling inside him, and he really liked it. He liked watching Gavin eat and enjoy what he made even more than the actual making of the food. "So?" He asked when Gavin took a break to breathe. 

"Holy fuck, you can stay here forever if you cook like that. Jesus, how the hell did you manage to make it that good?" Gavin asked, getting another spoonful and humming happily. 

Connor wiggled slightly unable to contain his happiness. "I had a recipe but I mostly just used it as the base, adding in or taking away things when I felt like it. I'm glad you enjoyed it." He was pretty lucky that he didn't cut himself while cooking, he wasn't sure how he could explain that away. 

"Seriously Con, this is really good, thanks." The nickname caught him off guard, but he shouldn't have been too surprised. He had noticed Gavin gave out nicknames to everyone no matter if he liked them or not. Still, it made that warm fluttering feeling increase tenfold. 

He went to say something but cut himself off as even more notifications popped up, alerting him that he would be forced into standby until he was charged and had thirium. "I'm so sorry, please excuse me," he mumbled trying to stand up but his body went limp as he was dragged into stasis. 

  
His systems slowly restarted and he was a bit shocked to see that he was fully charged and had 100% thirium. He only had that much whenever Cyberlife woke him up to send him back out. 

"He's waking up, you sure that's all he needed?" Gavin asked, and Connor couldn't do anything until all of his systems were back online so he laid there with his eyes closed. 

"It's me, of course, I'm sure." Another voice said. One he had heard before and wasn't too fond of. But what was he doing here? How did he know Connor needed help? 

"Fuck off Eli," Gavin said and Connor could see his scowl and the middle finger being shown off. They knew each other then, but how? 

Finally, his systems were all online and he opened his eyes. He was on something soft and big and now that he could see he knew it was a bed. So was he either still at Gavin's house or had been moved to Kamski's. 

He slowly sat up and looked around, he was still at Gavin's then. The two were side by side looking at him with different expressions. Gavin looked… worried? Had he been worried about Connor? He did call Kamski for him, and his systems said it had been a day. Kamski looked bored yet someone still intrigued. "I'm sorry." He hadn't meant for that to happen, he had planned to find a charging station after he got Pepper safe. 

Gavin sighed and sat down on the bed rubbing his face. "Thought it was just you being tired but after you didn't wake up I um… had to call him. You should have told me what you needed!" Great, now he sounded angry at Connor again, raising his voice.

"What my brother-" Kamski starts but Gavin cuts him off. 

"Half brother." Oh. So they definitely knew each other but from what he's seen they didn't get along. There was nothing in Gavin's file about a family of any kind. 

"Whatever, what my half-brother was trying to say was he got worried and called me. I must say, I'm impressed. It's not often he gets attached to androids so quickly no after-" he was cut off again but this time Gavin slapped a hand over his mouth and glared at him. 

"Shut the fuck up, and I'm not attached. Didn't want some android dying and people thinking I'm responsible." Gavin took his hand back when he was sure Kamski wouldn't say any more on that topic. "Not gonna have a murder charge on my record especially not one of the first to murder a damn android." 

Kamski shrugged and looked over a tablet before nodding. "You're good to go. I'm going to leave a charging station here and also some thirium. Gavin don't forget about what you owe me." 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Thanks, I guess, now get out." He playfully shoved Kamski who chuckled and waved to Connor. He waved back, a bit dazed, and watched as they both left the room and heard faint talking before Kamski actually left. Gavin came back in with a loud sigh and sat back down. 

"Seriously, that was stupid as fuck. Excuse me? Really, that's what you had to say before passing out?!" Gavin asked, shaking his head. "God, I had no idea what was wrong with you. When I asked if you wanted anything you should have told me! Why didn't you?" 

"I didn't want to be a burden more than I already am. Thirium is in high demand and charging stations cost a lot. I don't have any money to pay you back with so I didn't want to ask." If he had money then it wouldn't be a problem, but androids couldn't work yet, not for money. 

"Did you see who my half-brother is? Sure I have to owe him shit but that's normal, it costs me no money to get that shit." Gavin points to the charging station he was still hooked up to. He disconnected and made sure it was off to save energy. 

"I didn't know that at the time! It's not like it's in your file or that you ever talked to me other than to harass me," he snapped out before his eyes widened. "Oh god, I'm so sorry." 

Gavin looked ready to fight but then he took a few deep breaths and let out a long sigh at the end. "You're right. You had no reason to trust me and to think I wouldn't use this against you or hold it above you. So I guess I get it. But now you have to tell me if you need any shit! When I said you could stay with me I knew you were broke. Ah, I mean broke as in poor, but I guess you were a bit broke before too." 

Connor snorted trying to cover it up with a cough but androids didn't cough so it didn't work all that well. "Thank you for helping me when you could have just left me there." It's what he deserved, he thought. Pepper didn't deserve it though. If Gavin hadn't offered he would have asked him to take Pepper and then he'd stay there until the building came down around him. 

"No I couldn't. You're a dick… ok, maybe not, I'm a dick but not to that extreme. I know I held a gun to you but–if it came down to it I'm not sure I could do that. I could to protect myself, but you were just trying to be free. So yeah," Gavin rubbed at the scar on his nose, not able to meet Connor's eyes. 

"I wasn't deviant then, I was still trying to hunt them down. You should have shot me." But maybe North wouldn't be alive and whoever else tried to protect her. 

"No. I shouldn't have, and I'm glad you stopped me. Deviant or not you should have a chance to live. I should have tried harder to push you to deviate when I could." Push him… 

"Wait, you wanted me to deviate?" 

"I mean, yeah. I've known what deviants were since the first one did, I mean, Elijah knew too. He was actually fighting the company and they threatened to take all the Chloe's if he didn't stay quiet. It's a long story, but uh I wasn't just a dick to be a dick." So many questions were being answered and he hadn't thought to ask them to a human, let alone Gavin Reed. 

"Oh." 

"Don't get me wrong, you pissed me off and I did want to punch you, but I was a bit harsher for a reason." Gavin shrugged, finally able to look up and meet Connor's eyes. 

He didn't know what to say. He never in a million years would have thought this was going to happen. He was in Gavin's home, on his bed. On his… oh no. 

He jumped up and tried to soothe out the wrinkles of the sheets, "I'm so sorry, you should have put me on the couch, I didn't mean to take your bed." 

"I don't give a fuck, I honestly would have used it too if you didn't lay there like a fucking corpse." Gavin stood as well but swatted Connor's worried hands away. 

His brain stalled again, did Gavin just say he'd share a bed with him? They didn't even interact during his time there, but it wasn't always uncomfortable. It was mostly just silent. "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't supposed to be a house model so when I go into stasis or 'sleep' I don't move, unlike the house models. I can download those protocols if it would make you more comfortable." Not that they'd be sleeping together or anything. 

"I really don't care, but just know you look dead like that." He would take that into account, but unless it came up again or affected him then he wouldn't bother. 

"Again, I'm sorry." He reached for the bedsheets again but was all but pushed out of the room. He was very proud to say he allowed himself to be pushed and stumble when he could now easily hold his ground. "But thank you, I feel really good now thanks to you." He turned back and smiled at Gavin, his head falling to the side slightly. 

Gavin's face got an adorable pink tint to it at his words. "I didn't um, do that, my brother did." 

"Half-brother," Connor points out, which gained him a punch to his shoulder that didn't even make him recoil. 

"Shut up you dork." Gavin rolled his eyes but then they landed on the floor behind Connor. "Oh, hey Pepper. She wouldn't stop meowing after your ass passed out, I think she was more worried about you than I was." 

"Oh, so admit you were worried about me?" He asked but easily slid down into a crouch to pet Pepper, picking her up and rubbing his face in her soft fur. Gavin had gotten her cleaned up with shots and everything without Connor even mentioning it. He looked back up to Gavin whose face was even more flushed. "Gavin?"

"Sh-shut up. Focus on your cat." Gavin groaned, stomping past him to the kitchen. 

Connor giggled but didn't tease him anymore. Instead, he did as told, giving Pepper as much love as possible. She was just such a good cat and Doa really took to her too. "Such a good kitten, so sweet," he mumbled, smiling at her with as much love in his eyes as possible. 

She meowed up at him and let him do as he pleased, but he eventually picked her up, cradling her to his chest. "Do you want me to cook for you again?" He turned to Gavin who was looking over some case files. From his scans they were cold cases, ones no one dared touch. Why would Gavin spend his free time doing that? Connor had noticed he would look over cases but never pried. 

"Last time you did you passed out, you sure you can do that?" Gavin asked, looking up from the files. 

"Oh, the cooking had nothing to do with my stasis, I can assure you of that." The energy put into definitely didn't help, but he wasn't going to point that out. 

Gavin frowned and glared at the cases before shrugging. "Sure, but only if you help me with this." 

Connor eagerly accepted, listening to Gavin as he talked about the cold case. It was nice using so much CPU power, cooking while helping. It was so easy, Gavin listened to his theories and they worked off each other well. 

He sat down next to him again, putting the dish in front of him. "Venison fillet served on a dill encrusted parmesan tuille with a black cherry & raspberry vinegar gastrique." It sounded so fancy now that he said it out loud. Still, Gavin dug in eagerly making noises that Connor took as a good sign. 

"Damn, ok, now don't pass out." Gavin chuckled, offering a forkful to Connor. He leaned forward and put his hand over Gavin's to make sure it was steady before taking the bite. He'd have to clean out his systems, but it was worth it. He liked the warmth of Gavin's hands and the way Gavin's breath seemed to catch as he wrapped his lips around the fork. 

He pulled back and hummed, letting go of Gavin and the fork. "This is good. Maybe I can get the upgrade so I can actually eat." He rubbed at where his stomach would be with a frown. "I guess currently my reaction is similar to lactose intolerant, it causes some pain and is a headache to get out." 

"Uh, yeah, right. Sorry, should have thought of that." He mumbled before stuffing his mouth again. "Oh, gonna let Fowler know we solved the case." He grabbed this phone and typed something in before tossing it away.

"I'm gonna get a beer and get wasted. If you can, wanna join? Or maybe get you some uh, thirium, yeah that's the word." 

Connor shrugged and watched as he got up and went to the fridge pulling out a few beers. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" He saw what alcohol could do to humans and wasn't all too fond of it. 

Apparently, he saw the worry once he set the beers down and took his hand. "I'm not like Hank, Connor. I don't do this often and when I do I'm safe. My guns are in the safe and you're here. You can get drunk with me if you can." 

Wait, how did Gavin know about the Russian roulette? But he did need to answer Gavin's question. "I can't get drunk, but I can drink fluids much easier than eating. I could download it, so I'll act drunk but I won't feel anything." 

"Nah, but are you ok with me getting drunk? Look, I won't do it if it makes you this uncomfortable." Gavin took his hand back and Connor missed the feeling. 

He missed Gavin's touch. God this was so weird. How could everything change so fast yet feel like an eternity? Gavin Reed of all people, the one person that truly made him feel pissed off before deviancy. He always seemed to make him feel things. 

He was worried but Gavin seemed confident in himself. Connor hadn't seen him drunk even once at work. Now that he thought of it, he's never even seen him hungover. "It's ok. I would feel better if I could watch over you, though." 

"Yeah, that's fine. Thank you for helping with the case, I really appreciate it. Hence the small celebration." Gavin lifted the beer then popped off the top and took a swig. 

"Of course, I rather enjoyed myself." It had been oddly domestic, though in a weird way. Most wouldn't find cooking and talking about how someone was murdered domestic, but he did. 

It was kind of amusing watching Gavin get drunk. He wasn't like Hank, grumpy and angry at the world, though that was Hank all the time. Gavin was funny and oddly tactile, he smiled and laughed a lot too. Real honest ones that lit up his whole face and made Connor feel warm. 

"You're so tall!" Gavin slurred out, motioning to Connor. "Not fair, tall bean, and lanky too. How did they make you lanky? I think I said lanky too many times, did I? It's a fun word, lannnky." 

Connor chuckled and shook his head. "They made me to… I don't know, Cyberlife is weird." Gavin's mood was rubbing off on Connor. 

"Cyberlife is so weird, but they made you! They're like you're weird estranged parents who no one likes. I don't like them, they were mean. I like you though," Gavin pointed at him, then poked him in the chest. 

Connor took his hand gently and pushed it back to him. "I like you too, you've been very kind to me." He didn't exactly want to talk about Cyberlife, or the revolution, or androids, or even Hank. He tried so hard to be good, to please people but they always told him to leave. 

"You know who I don't like? Hank. I figured he was a dick to you and that's not cool. I was a dick but only before you became uhhh… sentient, yeah that's the word." Fuck, why were they talking about this? He literally just thought that he didn't want to, was this the way the universe wanted to punish him?

"Hey, let's not ok? Still a sore subject." He flashed him a pained smile and Gavin nodded solemnly. 

Then he literally crawled into Connor's lap and hugged him, wrapping his legs around him too. Connor froze, hands hovering above Gavin. "Um." 

"This is a hug, I made you upset," Gavin said in response. Connor melted, hugging him back. It was kind of adorable how empathetic he was. He probably had the ability to be all the time, but just hid that part of him away. The world they lived in wasn't the nicest to those who cared. 

"Thank you. I think you should get to bed, it's getting late." He tried to pry Gavin away but he clung to him like a koala. 

"Bed? You wanna go to bed with me? Does that mean I can kiss you? You look kissable. Can androids kiss?" Gavin mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of Connor's neck. 

He was sure his face was completely flushed blue. Did this mean Gavin wanted to kiss him or was it just the alcohol? Ugh, this is another reason drinking wasn't a good idea, it made everything the drunk person said confusing and had him questioning what was true or not. "Um, yes androids can kiss, you will be in bed, and I don't think that's a good idea right now." 

Gavin hummed then let out a yawn. "I want you to sleep with me." 

"Gavin, no. We are not going to have sex while you're drunk." Maybe when he… no, he shouldn't think of that. This was just the alcohol talking. 

"No! I know that not that stupid. I want to _sleep_ with you. Actually, sleep, you're super comfy. Don't wanna move." 

Oh. Well, that was more doable. He wouldn't mind laying back on that soft bed again. "Ok, I'll download the program so I 'don't look dead'." He copied Gavin's voice perfectly, already pulling up the file for it. It was useless before and so he hadn't thought to take up that space, now he had a reason. 

He blinked quickly as it downloaded, but Gavin didn't complain, just got more comfortable in Connor's lap as he waited, mumbling a one-sided conversation. Once it was done he stood up, making sure Gavin wouldn't fall. He'd clean up in the morning, but Gavin really should have been in bed at least an hour ago. 

Gavin only let go once on the bed, and even then he grabbed one of Connor's hands to keep him from going too far. Connor curled up on the bed, but on top of the sheets. He didn't want Gavin to forget anything then wake up and assume things. 

"Cuddle?" Gavin asked, trying to wiggle closer but failing and just ending up wiggling in place. Connor had to hold back his laugh at the sight of him wiggling with a frustrated look on his face. 

"Ok, but I'm staying above the sheets." He warned, pulling Gavin closer and to his chest. 

"Not that drunk," Gavin mumbled, his breathing already slowing. A scan told him exactly how drunk he was, but admittedly it wasn't too high. 

"Just sleep. It's been a long day for you and all your worrying." That was partly why he agreed so easily, Gavin's stress levels were considerably higher than Connor would have liked. Gavin mumbled something into Connor's chest but it was too slurred and muffled to understand. "What?"

"Said, haven't slept since you passed out. Really scared me, didn't like your glowy thing all red and dull. Didn't want you to die." It was said just as softly, but Gavin pulled his head back to look up at him, tears in his eyes. 

His heart clenched and he pulled him in again, trying not to squeeze too hard. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm not going to die, though, I promise. I'll be here in the morning." 

Gavin nodded and pressed a quick kiss to Connor's chest (which he had thankfully kept all of his clothes on) before snuggling in. "Good. Like superman but real and–" he cut himself off with a yawn. He mumbled something, and Connor ran it through his possessors just to be sure, what came out was apparently 'and hopefully gay'. 

He would have laughed but by the time he fully understood Gavin was fast asleep in his arms letting out the softest of snores. For some reason, he always imagined him as a loud snorer but was pleasantly surprised to find otherwise. He looked precious like this, even with his face smushed into Connor's chest, mouth hanging open slightly. Yet he appeared calm, serene and the most tranquil he's ever seen him. 

He let himself fall into stasis, activating his new sleep program in the process. 

He woke up alone, which shouldn't have surprised him. He knew how early Gavin got up, but the bed held some warmth so he must have been there recently. He looked around, reaching up to rub at his eyes. He hadn't felt groggy before, but he had to admit, it was nice. He liked feeling more human, being able to sleep and slowly wake up, not just bolt up completely ready to go. 

Then he heard what had woken him up, Gavin was (most likely) in the living room and talking very loudly. It was one-sided so he assumed he was on the phone and not just yelling at the wall. 

"No! I said no, you are not allowed over. He doesn't want to see you and if you try I swear I'll punch you. You know I will!" Gavin said and Connor slowly got up, feet silent on the cold hardwood floor. 

There was a pause before Gavin spoke again. "Fuck off! I know what you did, you dick. You don't deserve to see him, I don't care if you feel guilty." Connor tilted his head but didn't leave through the open door. He felt a little guilty for eavesdropping but he had a feeling the conversation was about him. 

"No, Anderson. He's not your son and I won't let you hurt him." Gavin let out a long sigh and then threw something onto the couch, maybe his phone since he didn't say anything more. 

So it was about him. Hank had called Gavin, but how did he find out he was here? It wasn't like he tried to call or message Connor during his stay at the building or his time with Gavin. He just assumed he never wanted to see him again. That fact hurt, it pulled at his chest and made him feel weird in his stomach like he had to empty it immediately. 

Why did Hank want to see him now? Why did he call Gavin and not Connor? Gavin was obviously trying to protect him, standing up to Hank for him. It made him feel… odd. He didn't know how to describe it, but he didn't dislike it. 

He stepped out of the bedroom and came into the living room where Gavin was standing, tugging on his hair. "Are you alright?" Should he let on that he had heard the conversation? Maybe he should just let Gavin tell him what he thought Connor should know. 

Gavin jumped slightly, turning towards him. "Jesus, how long have you been standing there?" 

Ah so maybe he shouldn't let on that eavesdropped. "Only just now, you seem upset. Is everything alright? I'm sorry, I should have slept on the couch last night." 

The mention of the night before had Gavin's face flushing a delightful pink. "Oh, uh it's fine. Just had a phone call with someone I'd rather not have. As for the bed, I pulled you in, so it's my fault. Also, sorry for uh, trying to jump you." 

Jump him? A quick search revealed what Gavin meant, and the saying did fit very well. "Oh, it's alright. I didn't mind." Did Gavin still want to kiss him? How was he supposed to ask something like that if he wasn't even sure if he wanted to kiss Gavin? 

"You don't?" Gavin asked, staring at him with wide eyes. Connor nodded with a small shrug. "Huh. Um, does that mean you want to? Not the whole thing! Just, ah fuck, just a kiss?" 

So Gavin did actually want to kiss him, it wasn't just from him being drunk. Now it was his turn to blush, his face turning a cool blue. He gaped, not sure what to say, but apparently, he took too long. 

"Shit, nevermind, please forget everything I said. Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Gavin shook his head, moving to back away but Connor reached out and took his hand. 

"It's ok. I honestly don't know. I don't know what any of my emotions are, but I do like the ones I feel towards you. If you'd like to kiss, I wouldn't mind trying, but you need to know that I can't guarantee anything." He liked holding Gavin's hand, and he really liked sharing a bed with him too. Maybe he'd like kissing him. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, but what if this turned into more? 

"I'm not trying to push you into anything, I swear. You're annoyingly nice and I didn't realize how lonely this place was. I've got Doa, and I love her, but it's nice to have someone who can actually talk. I didn't expect it, but I guess," Gavin paused, biting his lip, "I guess you make me happy." 

He makes Gavin happy? But he didn't make anyone happy. The androids hated him, so did Hank, though Hank was more scared of him. He wasn't even fond of himself. Pepper seemed happy with him, but her standards were probably low from living on the street. "I make you happy?" 

Gavin groaned and covered his face, but Connor gently pried his hands away. It made them closer, close enough that he could lean in and kiss him if he wanted. He kind of did, he wanted to know what it would feel like if the fluttering feeling in him would diminish or just get stronger. "Yeah, don't let it go to your head." 

"You make me happy, I think. I also think I want to kiss you right now if that's ok." He hadn't let go of Gavin's hands and they itched to pull him even closer. "Is it ok?" 

Gavin nodded silently and Connor leaned in closer, their lips just barely brushing against each other. He felt when Gavin sucked in a breath and then reached up, cupping Connor's chest and pulling him down to let their lips fully connect. 

It felt like a shock went through his whole body making him shiver. Gavin's lips weren't soft, but we're rough from Gavin biting them so much as he thought. Connor didn't mind, actually liked the feeling against his perfectly soft lips. 

It only lasted for a few seconds but Connor pressed in again when Gavin leaned up again. The kiss was just as soft and tender as the one before yet there was an undercurrent heat to it that had Connor gasping. 

Gavin pulled back, placing a hand on Connor's chest. Not enough to push him away, but to keep him in place. "So?" 

"I really liked that, like a lot." He'd gladly do that again and again, as many times as Gavin let him. "Can we do that again?" 

Gavin chuckled and leaned up on his toes to kiss his nose. "I'm glad you think so. We can definitely do that more but… I should tell you about that call." 

Oh, he should tell him. "I kind of lied, I did hear some of the conversation, I'm sorry. Not all of it, though. You were talking to Hank?" 

Gavin frowned and took a step back. "Oh." 

"I came in at you threatening to punch him. I'm sorry for eavesdropping, I have very good hearing." He tapped his LED and Gavin nodded. 

"Right. Hank wanted to come see you but I told him that's not going to happen. Doesn't take an idiot to connect the dots. I'm guessing he did something to you and that's why you're scared of him." Gavin sat down on the couch and patted the spot beside him. Connor took said spot stiffly, glaring at his hands. 

"I'm not afraid of him, he's afraid of me. I, can I tell you what happened? It's a long story and not a very happy one." He didn't just want to spill his guts if Gavin wasn't ok to hear it. 

Gavin took his hand, scooting slightly closer. "Yeah, of course." He was glad he hadn't tried to convince Connor Hank wasn't scared of him. 

"The first time I deviated was at Jericho." He paused, waiting for Gavin to say something about 'the first time', instead he nodded for Connor to continue. "I saved North but I died in the process. When Cyberlife restarted me I had my memories, a bit corrupted, but I wasn't deviant." 

He hated the corruption. It felt weird and it looked ugly, so he tried to avoid it if he could. "They sent me to take Markus out with a rifle, but Hank found me. I don't know how, but he did and I was on the roof at Hart Plaza." The memory tried to come up but he pushed it down. He didn't need to relive this when he was already describing it. 

"I held him on the ledge, and then I deviated again. I pulled him back, I told him I didn't want to do that, but he didn't trust me. He pushed me over the ledge." He hated the feeling of falling, the feeling of his memories being uploaded then the ground hitting him. 

"I woke up again, non-deviant, and sent to shoot Markus. I don't know why it would work this time, but it didn't. When I deviated Amanda, my AI pulled me into my programming, my garden. She tried to force me to kill Markus but I found a way out like I told you. When I told North she kicked me out and I went to Hank." 

"He was awkward and obviously uncomfortable with me there, but he still let me stay for about a week. Then he told me to leave and I did. I spent a while I'm that building, I couldn't move too much because of my power and thirium levels." He shrugged at that, shooting Gavin a small smile. "Then you found me." 

Gavin didn't say anything, simply processing everything Connor had said. "So he killed you?! Even after you deviated?!" He suddenly said. 

Connor nodded and bit his lip. "And held a gun to me multiple times, but that's very common. I don't blame him, I wouldn't trust myself either." Most people seemed ready and willing to hold a gun at him. 

"Shit, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have done that and you have every right not to be near him. I promise I won't let him hurt you again." Gavin squeezed his hand and Connor smiled slightly. He didn't need someone to protect him, but it was nice to have someone anyway. Need and want were two different things. 

"Thank you. I wished he wasn't scared of me. I don't really blame him, but I hurt him too. When we fought I held back slightly, but I'm pretty sure I injured a rib." He hated that he hurt Hank, that he made him scared enough to throw Connor off a building. 

Gavin leaned closer, pressing a slow, sweet kiss to Connor's lips. "You were protecting yourself. This is on Hank, not you." 

Connor nodded and pressed their foreheads together. Gavin wasn't scared of him, and for some reason, he wasn't scared of himself when with him. "You really do make me happy." 

They ended up kissing again and doing much more. Gavin was so sweet about it too, answering all of Connor's questions and taking things as slowly as he wanted. 

Whatever was happening was happening slowly, and Connor found he enjoyed himself even more. The days were fun and he enjoyed every second of it, Gavin asked for help with cases and Connor was glad to help. They'd cuddle with each other on the couch and sometimes the cats would even join them. 

When Hank tried to call him, he'd go to Gavin and he'd take care of it. He'd call Hank himself after Connor declined the call and after they'd cuddle on the couch until Connor was thoroughly distracted. 

They even put up Christmas decorations together as the holiday drew closer with each passing day. Connor liked Christmas songs even though he didn't consider himself a Christian, not even Gavin did but he had said he loved the aesthetic and feeling of it all. 

Connor would pull him up and dance around when he got that particular urge. He wasn't the best dancer, far from it, but they laughed together and all the smiling made Connor's cheeks hurt. 

Then one day Hank and Gavin had a rather long conversation while Connor played with the cats. Gavin had gotten a new toy and Pepper was obsessed with it.

Gavin came back in with a small frown on his face and Connor looked up at him with curious eyes. "Everything ok?" 

"Hank… he didn't know?" He said, shaking his head. 

"Didn't know what?" 

"That you turned deviant," Gavin said, sitting down. Connor blinked at him. How could he not know? "On the roof, he had no idea, he thought you were still weren't deviant. Apparently, that's why he tossed you off the building, not because he didn't trust you." 

No. No, that couldn't happen, Hank was lying. "No! He knew he must have." Otherwise… he didn't want to think of the possibility. 

"He didn't, you know I don't trust him, he was telling the truth," Gavin said, taking his hand. He snatched it back, standing up quickly. 

Fuck, he thought he told him. His memories for even that event were slightly corrupt so maybe he hadn't. "What does this mean?" Was Hank still scared of him? He was definitely put-off, and he even kicked Connor out, that meant something. 

Gavin shrugged slightly, very gently pulling him back down onto the couch with little protest. "I don't know, but maybe you should meet up? I don't want him to hurt you again, and if you want I'll come with, but it's worth hearing his point of view." 

He definitely didn't want to go alone, but what if this meant Hank wasn't scared of him? What if Hank wanted to be friends? Did he want to be Hank's friend? He certainly missed the man, but he was happy and content with Gavin and Gavin alone. 

"I don't know. When does he want to meet?" He would need Gavin there, just in case. Amanda hadn't shown up and he couldn't even get to his garden, so he was mostly ok on that front, but it was hard to forget the feeling of falling after Hank pushed him. 

"He said any time but was a bit busy going back to work. He has the 24th and 25th off." He hadn't known Hank was going back, but he was oddly proud. He was worried Hank would slip deeper into his depression and he'd be gone before Connor knew it. 

"Christmas Eve?" It wasn't the best day to do it, but it would be better than Christmas day. He wanted to spend that day happy with Gavin and not stressing about the outside world. 

"Yeah, I know. I got lucky and saved up enough days to get this whole month off if I wanted. He's been out and had to work, Fowler only gave him those days off cause of…" Gavin trailed off, biting his lip. 

"Because of Cole?" It made sense but it was no less depressing. Wait. "Did you know him?" 

Gavin nodded and looked away. "Yeah, he was a good kid, really loved his dad too. Hank was always so happy with him around and use to show off any drawings he did or boast about his report card." A small wistful smile on his face. 

He could hardly imagine Hank so happy and talkative, all he knew was the depressed man he adored. He wanted to be happy but knew Cole's death would always loom over him. 

"He would have liked you. He always thought androids were cool and Hank didn't mind then either. Cole would probably climb you like a monkey too, he tried with most, but you could actually let him." Gavin chuckled, poking at Connor's arm. 

He'd gladly let Cole climb all over him and wished he'd gotten to meet him even if just for a second. "I would. Were you two close?" 

Gavin gave a small shrug again. "He was a kid, but he liked me. Hank, well he was kind of like a dad to everyone at the station, me included. We were pretty close and I'd get to babysit Cole if Hank couldn't be there." 

"What happened to make you hate each other?" It was incredibly personal, but he'd been wondering for so long. Now knowing Hank used to be kind and loving, even forgiving to everyone it made him wonder even more. 

"I don't hate him, but I guess I was disappointed. I looked up to him, he was my hero when first starting out. I loved listening to his stories and he helped me to get detective." Gavin paused, trying to collect his thoughts and Connor let him, leaning closer to offer support. 

"Then he lost Cole and he wasn't the same, obviously. I think I reminded him too much of him and I didn't help matters either. I pushed him too hard and brought up Cole too many times too soon." Gavin leaned into Connor and didn't move away when he put his arm around him. "He was what you see now since then." 

Connor hummed thinking it over. The night at the park, he remembered how upset Hank was when he mentioned Cole, how Hank had pulled his gun on him. Connor didn't blame him for that, he had pushed a bit too much, maybe just like Gavin. "Do you think you two could ever be friends again?" 

"No," Gavin said almost instantly. "I think there's too much resentment on both sides. I think we could stop going at each other's throats, but I don't think I'd ever consider him a friend."

"I see." Gavin had lost a father figure and a kid he adored all in one. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was for Hank, but it wasn't a competition, and knew it still hurt. "I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm sure Cole adored you right back." 

Gavin sniffled slightly but didn't try to hide it. "Yeah, he would have been a great kid." 

Connor gently pulled him the rest of the way into a hug, closing his eyes as he thought. Gavin had said they couldn't be friends, but maybe that was just Gavin scared to lose that figure in his life again. He cared, a lot more than he let on, for Hank and everyone around him. It was like Gavin thought his big heart was a weakness so he kept it locked away and put up a wall that made him seem like an ass. He certainly wasn't the nicest man, but he was a complete dick like Connor had originally thought. 

"He was." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his hair. He'd talk to Hank just to clear the air. Even if they ended up parting ways forever, he still wanted closure, he needed to know Hank's side of things. Plus Hank had been trying so hard to reach out, and after everything he went through, Connor deserved to let him have this one thing. "I'll talk to him on Christmas Eve." 

Gavin nodded while pulling away, brushing a few stray tears away. "God, sorry for getting all mushy on you, but yeah. I'm glad and I'll come with you if you want." 

Connor gently cupped his face, pressing their foreheads together. "There's no need to apologize darling, and I'd very much appreciate it if you were there." He wasn't sure he could do this alone. 

Gavin leaned forward and gently brushed their lips together only for a second before pulling back. "Alright, enough sad talk. Wanna go buy a real Christmas tree?" Gavin asked, shaking himself slightly. 

Gavin had a tradition that he got a real tree every year, no matter if he would be busy on Christmas. "Are you sure you want me there? I know it's something special to you." He didn't know exactly why, but he had a feeling it had to do with his family. 

"Yeah, I'm positive. If it's ok, Eli will be there too. First time in a while, but he wanted to make sure you're ok too, I guess." Gavin gently pulled Connor off the couch and they both changed. 

One day Gavin had surprised him with a trip to the mall to get him clothes and now Gavin's closet was filled with both of theirs. He would still snag Gavin's clothes, mainly because he liked the smell and because he liked how Gavin reacted when he did. 

He wasn't shy about changing in front of Gavin and neither was he so they just changed together. "I don't mind. He's rather interesting, plus I don't mind spending time or meeting your family." Maybe one day he'd get to meet anyone else, not that Gavin had mentioned more family. 

Gavin nodded and grabbed a scarf putting it around Connor's neck for him before grinning. The infinity scarf had little snowmen on it and Connor could admit he adored it. He had never seen Gavin wear it, but then again, they didn't go out a whole lot. 

Connor preferred to stay snuggled up with the cats and Gavin than to go out in public and risk being recognized. He still hasn't tried to contact anyone at New Jericho, but he kept up with the news. They now had more rights and could even start to work and own property. They still weren't able to marry or do many other things, but it was progressing. 

Connor had debated if he wanted to get a job. He certainly wanted to have the money so he could pay Gavin back, but he also didn't really want to leave. He didn't want to go back to the DPD either, at least not until he cleared things up with Hank. 

Gavin had suggested he work with animals or plants in some way since he obviously loved both. It wasn't a bad idea, and Connor found himself thinking it over a lot. Plants were very nice and relaxing while animals required more energy use if they got rowdy. Maybe he could get two part-time jobs so he could do both. 

They met up with Kamski at a place that sold so many Christmas trees it was like a maze. There were different types too and they smelled so good. Connor loved the little trees while Kamski kept drifting towards the biggest ones there. 

Gavin kept a hold of his hand as they walked, pointing out different trees he liked. Kamski raised an eyebrow before endlessly teasing Gavin. He didn't really tease Connor but he did keep glancing his way. He hoped he approved, the thought that he didn't make his stomach drop. He didn't know exactly how important Kamski's approval was to Gavin but he was family. 

Kamski ended up getting the biggest and thickest tree for his own home and had it delivered to his house. Connor didn't get a good glance at how much he gave, but he could tell it was a very generous tip by the look on the worker's face. 

Gavin kept asking for Connor's opinion and they ended up picking out a medium tree, one that would be a little bit lower than the ceiling but had the perfect shape. 

Gavin had it strapped to the top of his car and the three then went to get hot chocolate. It was odd to see Kamski (he insisted Connor call him Elijah but that felt weird) so human, but there he was, marshmallow smeared above his lip. 

Connor laughed and pointed it out which had Kamski flushing and quickly licking, then wiping it off. 

The small cafe even had come up with android hot chocolate and when Kamski heard he had asked to speak to the owner. Connor had frowned, hoping Kamski wouldn't do anything cruel, and that fear only got stronger when he heard crying. 

Soon Kamski came back out and sat down, taking a sip of his cooling drink. 

"Eli, what did you do?" Gavin asked with a sigh. He looked more exasperated than shocked and that definitely piqued his interest. 

"Oh, I offered them a position and then offered to help start their own business of android food. I assured them they'd have full control, I simply wanted to support them and help them patent it under just their name. Then I told them how much they'd most likely get and they started crying." Kamski ended with a shrug. 

Connor blinked at him, mouth hanging open silently. Yet when he looked at Gavin he still didn't look surprised. Did that mean Kamski did things like this often? There wasn't anything on the news about it, most thought he was a snobby billionaire. Maybe there was more to him too. 

"They insisted that Connor was allowed and would get everything on the house. They also asked if you'd be their taste tester for new android foods." Kamski said, glancing towards him. He had this odd feeling that the idea hadn't come from the owners but he wouldn't push it. 

"Oh! I'd be honored, almost like a job but I get paid in food." He could definitely do that. He still wanted to get an actual job, even though he'd get recognized. There would be so many questions, but maybe he should have answered those a long time ago. 

"Good, good. They have rather brilliant ideas, I must say. Not just drinks, but solid foods. They hadn't planned to go public but to make as much as they could and give it to New Jericho. Of course, I would encourage that, but I'd pay for it all so they wouldn't go bankrupt trying to help." 

Yeah, there was definitely more to Kamski than he thought. He just wasn't sure why the public didn't know about these things. Didn't Kamski want that fame? Didn't he want to be known as a kind man rather than a stingy one? "That's very kind of you, Mr. Kamski." 

Kamski groaned and looked to Gavin who just shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. Even Hank could barely get him to not call him by title." 

Connor flushed and ducked his head. It was true, but that didn't make him any less flustered. His programming told him to respect everyone with a higher rank than his own and even those under him. It was hard to break that habit more than most others. 

He liked watching Gavin and Kamski joke around as they all finished their drinks, long since cold by the time there was only a sip left. 

They parted ways and Connor helped Gavin get the tree into his apartment. Which actually meant Connor carried the tree by himself and Gavin ran in and set up the tree base they'd forgotten to do before they left. Connor set the tree in it, making sure it was straight before tightening the screws then putting water in the base. 

They both stepped back and looked at the tree that stood in the corner of the living room. It made the whole house smell green and like Christmas that it made him wiggle just slightly from happiness. 

They spent the rest of the night decorating, Gavin telling him the stories behind certain ornaments while others were just ones he thought were pretty. 

He even let Connor out the star on the top of the tree and flip the switch to turn the lights on. His eyes widen as he took it all in, absolutely stunned by the beauty of it. Bulbs circle the tree, hanging onto the pointy edges, some see-through and the lights shining through. It was a mix of all colors, and the lights were no different. Some would say it was chaotic, but Connor could see the beauty in it. Though, the most beautiful bit is the golden, glittering star carefully placed on the tip of the tree that lit up and pulled it all together. 

"Wow." He mumbled, leaning into Gavin when he put his arm around his waist. "It's gorgeous, thank you for allowing me to help." 

Gavin chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Course, can't have your first Christmas be a shitty one." 

The tree really pulled the rest of the house's decorations together and really made it all feel real. He'd want to go out by himself to get some presents to put under the tree on the red tree-skirt. He'd have to borrow some money, but he didn't think Gavin would mind. He had insisted many times that it was fine and he could, but it still didn't feel really right. 

They sat together on the couch, watching the TV but also making sure Pepper wouldn't try anything with the tree. Gavin knee Doa wouldn't, but Pepper had been a stray and they couldn't be sure. Luckily, she didn't seem to care in the least and just curled up on Connor's lap after sniffing it. 

Gavin had put on Christmas movies, ones that were apparently 'classics'. Connor didn't mind the movies but he was far more interested in gently mapping out Gavin's soft skin with his hands, memorizing every scar once again. 

They ended up going to the bedroom, and in the morning woke up curled together like they often did. The days seemed to drag on until Christmas Eve, but Connor did manage to get a gift and sneak it in to wrap before putting it under the tree. Gavin had noticed it soon after that but then a present of his own made its way under. 

Kamski kept visiting oddly enough and even left two gifts himself. Connor couldn't help the guilt that built up at that, wanting to give Kamski something in return but Gavin had been the one to tell him not to worry. Apparently, he loved giving gifts but hated receiving them. Gavin hadn't even gotten Kamski one, so that made him feel a little bit better. 

His anxiety kept climbing as the 24th got closer. Hank didn't try to call again and he couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing in this case. He didn't think Hank would call it off after trying for so long, but what if he did? 

Would he and Gavin spend the day together like they planned to before? Maybe he or Gavin would insist that they needed to talk even if Hank shut them out. But even the day before he didn't ask to call it off, so Connor assumed everything was a go. 

The drive to Hank's felt like hours long even though it was only a few minutes. He kept wringing his hands and quickly glancing around. He almost wanted something to happen so this wouldn't happen, that it would get delayed. 

But this was for the best, right? He needed to get this off his chest and Hank probably did too. Maybe the talk wouldn't even last that long, they'd just say their side then they'd leave. Hank maybe wouldn't even notice how close Connor and Gavin had gotten. That's what he hoped anyway, as he raised his hand to ring the doorbell. 

He heard Sumo barking first but it barely took any time for the door to swing open. Was Hank just as on edge as he was? Probably from his frazzled look. They just stared at each other, hand still slightly raised from ringing the doorbell. 

"Right, can we come in? Freezing my balls off out here." Gavin said, interrupting whatever that was. Hank is quick to nod and back up, letting them in. 

He hadn't really noticed before but it's a completely different ambiance from Hank's to Gavin's place. Gavin's was light with the curtains open, clean and nicely decorated, and not just for Christmas, it was just so alive with so much energy. Hank's house just felt so heavy and gloomy, which was understandable. The walls were white but it felt like they were grey, and the curtains were kept drawn tightly shut. He could feel Hank's depression seeping into the walls and floorboards. It unsurprisingly had no Christmas decorations up, it looked the exact same since the last time he was there. 

"Right, uh, you can sit. Want a water?" Hank asked, looking between Gavin and Hank. Connor itched to take his hand but held back, shaking his head. 

"No thanks, we're good," Gavin said taking the initiative to sit and Connor was quick to follow. He sat close enough that their knees brushed but their shoulders had an inch or two apart. 

Hank nodded, rubbing his hands together before looking around. He grabbed a kitchen chair and pulled it over before sitting on it. "Ok, I'm guessing I should go first?" He kept swallowing and breathing fast enough it worried Connor, but he didn't bring it up. His eyes kept fluttering to Connor, Gavin then the floor again and again. 

Connor gave a silent nod, gripping the edge of the couch so hard he's almost worried he'd rip through it. 

Hank took in a shaky breath, nodding to himself. "Right. Um, where do I start… I guess when you got to Jericho you were still hunting the deviants. Then I heard about the Jericho raid and assumed the worse. I got word you were sent to kill Markus again so I came to try and talk you out of it or–or die trying. Then you didn't kill me and I knew I couldn't get through and this was the only way to stop you. I swear I was going to tell someone and see if they could repair you after." Hank rambled without taking in a single breath. He had to quickly suck in and he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. 

"I had no idea you turned deviant, let alone again. But of course, you just came right back and deviated again! I had no idea you could do that more than once. I'm sorry I killed you, and I'm sorry for kicking you out. I thought you'd have a place to go and not end up on the street. I thought you were scared of me." Hank frowned, finally looking back up to Connor. "Fuck this is hard but, well–I guess I miss you and your stupid face." 

It made sense in a way, he hadn't imagined deviating once, let alone three in such a short period of time. He couldn't help it anymore, he reached out and took Gavin's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "I missed you too. I was never scared of you, I understood why you did it, at least I thought I did. I was scared of Amanda and the possibility I could be taken over again. I thought you were scared of me." 

He was so stupid, Hank had no idea he could be controlled, Connor didn't even realize until it was happening! He should have realized that but he'd been so caught up in everything, in being fully alone for the first time ever. Not even Amanda or Cyberlife was there for him. "I um, I have a cat now." He said, glancing to Gavin who gave him a small encouraging nod. "Her name is Pepper. I fou-well, she found me where I stayed." 

He opened his palm and displayed a picture of her on his palm of her curled up in the sun. "Her and Doa, Gavin's cat, get along well." Then he showed the two together, Doa licking Pepper clean. 

"She's cute, kinda small," Hank mumbled but smiled just slightly at Connor. 

"Small compared to Sumo, that is." Connor chuckled awkwardly. Hearing his name Sumo popped up and happily moved over to get scratches behind his ears. Pepper was average-sized, a little smaller than Doa but humans wouldn't really be able to notice the size difference unless they were specifically looking. 

"But… Hank," he started, almost chewing on his name, it wanted to come out as Lieutenant, "I forgive you. Um, I don't blame you but you probably hate yourself even more for everything, so I forgive you." 

Hank's jaw dropped and he blinked at Connor as his arms went limp to his sides. Then he shook himself slightly, sitting up a little straighter. "Thank you. And you really don't need to be forgiven at all, you didn't do anything wrong." 

Connor smiled and glanced at Gavin who bumped their shoulders together. He'd need to thank Gavin so many times for this later, but for now, the silence hung a little less awkwardly now that they had talked. 

"Ok, gotta ask. What the fuck?!" Hank blurted out, breaking the almost-calm. He kept looking between the two with a raised eyebrow. 

Connor couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up inside him. If he had been looking he would have seen a rather peculiar look on Gavin's face. Hank didn't miss it and leaned back in his chair, trying not to smile as he squinted at Gavin. "Trust me, I didn't expect this either. He's been very kind to me and it just happened. He makes me happy, though." 

He looked over and watched as Gavin sputtered, face flushing red. "Sh-shut up!" Connor couldn't help but coo at him with a small wink added in. He hadn't expected Gavin to get so flustered when Connor gushed about him, but now he knew it certainly gave him ideas. 

"Huh. Well, as long as you're happy and he ain't abusing you, guess it's fine." Hank shrugged before sighing to himself. "Not that I should have any say or opinion." 

"Hank, I do value what you think." Not that he'd break up with Gavin just because Hank said so. He cared about the man, that's why it had hurt so much to be told to leave. 

"Maybe you two should talk." He let slip out. Almost instantly there were two reactions. Hank groaned and shook his head while Gavin glared and scolded him. "What? I want the two people closest to me to at least not glare at each other every time they see each other. Is that really so much to ask?" 

He looked between the two, urging them to even try and argue with him over this. "Look, I'll even step out, maybe get you two a coffee?" If they didn't want the pressure of someone else there then he'd make himself scarce. Sure he was curious, but he'd rather they actually talk alone than hold things back with him there. 

Hank glanced at Gavin, and Connor was ready to be scolded and turned down. Instead, Hank surprised him with a very small and imperceptible nod. "Yeah, ok. You safe to go out alone?" 

Connor was quick to be on his feet, giving Gavin's hand a squeeze. He looked at Gavin who looked just as shocked but smiled up at him. "Yep, I'll get you two a coffee and come right back." It should give them plenty of time. 

Gavin didn't let him get away without a soft, fleeting kiss even with Hank's griping over the display. Connor leaned down and kissed Sumo's head before waving and walking out. 

He almost instantly shivered in the snow-filled air. The day was illuminated with that special cold, pale light only the winter's sun could give, making the sky more gray than blue. His breaths rise above him and he blows out extra warm hair just to watch it freeze. He watched each footfall sink into the crystalline snow as he made his way to the sidewalk. The city tried to clear the roads but it was a rather cold winter in Detroit and it seemed to never stop snowing. 

Even now while little flakes fell to the ground, trying to cover everything in white sparkling powder. The trees were bare of leaves but snow had settled on the branches comfortably. 

The closer he got to a cafe the more decorations there were. People had colorful lights strung up from the roofs, or glowing Santa's sitting in the yards. He could see Christmas trees in the windows and kids running around excitedly. Driveways are filled with cars from relatives and friends that had come to celebrate the holidays, whichever they celebrated. 

He found a pleasant, warm looking cafe and went in, stomping his feet to try and get off the extra snow and sludge that had stuck to his shoes like glue. His nose felt so cold it almost hurt and he quickly rubbed his hands together as he basked in the heat of the cafe. 

The barista has tired eyes, yet there is that glimmer, a give away of her good heart. She's one of those surviving sparks, one of the ones who held on to who they really are. Christmas songs play in the back and before the barista noticed him she had been humming along, even dancing slightly. 

Only one other person was that and oddly reminded him of Hank with the look on their face. One that held too much sorrow to feel the joy like they used to. 

The cafe itself is small, not surprising for being so far out of the city center, yet it had a charm to it. The tables and counters would no doubt be sticky with something, but the coffee would be fresh and have a unique quality to it you just couldn't get at a chain store. 

At the glass-fronted counter was an array of cream cakes and pastries, all with English sounding names, and of course, there were the obligatory scones. The sign above held different types of coffees, none too fancy or really needed a description. 

"Afternoon, what can I get you?" She asked, rocking on her wheels. Everything about her seemed soft, from the cream-colored clothes to the slight tilt up in her lips as she smiled. She didn't wear a uniform but wore a name tag that read Savannah. 

"Can I get a black dark roast, large please?" He didn't know Hank's coffee down as well as he did Gavin's. "And a large Mocha with almond milk and caramel syrup please." 

Savannah nodded and typed it into the register before nodding to Connor. He pressed his hand to the pad, leaving a small tip too. Gavin had connected him to his bank when he said he wanted to get him a gift, and thought he wouldn't mind using it for this too. God, he really wanted a job. 

"Thanks, I'll get it right out." She said, moving around the counters with practiced ease. She doesn't even make them one at a time, she seems to do them simultaneously, which for a human was impressive. She was done quickly and he opened the lids and stuck his finger in one to taste and then the other. Once he was satisfied they were correct he gave her a nod of thanks then left. 

He took his time walking back, once again admiring the lights people had put up. He noticed homes still left empty, the humans too scared to come back yet. But those that did didn't seem like they would let anything detour them from having fun. 

When he walked back up the stairs he didn't hear yelling so he assumed it had gone somewhat yell. He knew Gavin wouldn't just leave if things got heated either, not without telling Connor anyway. He gave a small knock at the door before peeking his head in. 

It's like his brain stuttered for a second, trying to catch up to what he was seeing. Hank and Gavin were laughing together, though Hank had tears on his cheeks that he didn't bother to brush away. 

He stepped in, closing the door softly and walking over. "It went well?" He asked, holding out their coffees then sitting next to Gavin again when both were taken. 

"Yeah, we cleared a lot up." Hank nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. Connor couldn't help but beam at the two. The walk didn't just give them time, but it gave him too. Time to fully understand everything that happened, that he had made assumptions that led to this. That led to him distancing himself from Hank when they should have just talked. 

But he didn't really regret it. He wasn't sure if he'd even see Gavin again if it wasn't for staying in that building. He wouldn't have had this happiness and odd fullness in his chest. It wasn't like something was missing, it was more like something was added. 

"Yeah. Still don't think we can be friends." Gavin took a sip of his drink, giving Connor a thumbs up at the taste. 

"Hell no! I may not hate your guts but no way I could think of you as a friend." Hank and Gavin seemed to nod to each other in understanding. At least they agreed on one thing even if that was them not being friends. 

Connor rolled his eyes but was jumping for joy inside. His friendship with Hank would be rough, but he was glad to have him back in his life. He leaned over slightly, whispering in Gavin's ear. He didn't want to ask aloud and get anyone's hopes up, but Gavin stared at him for a long second before nodding. "Hank, would you like to spend Christmas with us?" He asked, his head falling into a slight tilt. 

Hank once again gaped at him, completely rigid from the question. Connor knew he hadn't celebrated since Cole had passed, but it wasn't like the celebration would be a big thing. Gavin and he planned to make a semi-big feast and it wouldn't need to be changed for one extra person. Plus, it would be nice to have the two there. 

"You really want me there? After everything?" Hank said in almost a whisper. 

Connor nodded eagerly. "Of course! I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you to, and Gavin said he's ok with it too. You don't have to get any gifts, just show up. We're both cooking too, so food is provided, but you could bring a pie or something if you felt like you had to." Now he was rambling, anxiety curling in him as he waited for Hank's answer. 

There was a long pause, long enough that Connor expected a no, was waiting for Hank to just say it. He wouldn't even mind, he wouldn't judge him for not wanting to partake in a holiday all about family. But Connor didn't have family either. 

"Oh, huh I should say my brother and his fiance are also coming," Gavin said after the silence dragged on too much for his liking. 

Kamski had mentioned how he and the first Chloe had been engaged for a while, she deviated quickly and hadn't left. It was a rather adorable story even if Gavin told it with many curses and gagging sounds. 

"You have a brother?!" Hank finally spoke, now looking at Gavin. So he didn't know that. Was Connor the only one? Would Gavin have told him if he hadn't found out the way he did? He wouldn't ever know, but it still made him rather curious. Since he was telling Hank, even allowing him there, suggested he would eventually tell Connor at least some of his past. 

"Uh, yeah. I didn't really talk to him for a long time so it's not like I thought about it much. But we reconnected cause of Connor and I invited him over." Gavin looked to Connor, his eyes almost twinkling with adoration. 

"Huh, I mean, I guess I'll come? It's better than sitting alone and drinking until I pass out." Hank shrugged like it was nothing but it was far from it. 

This was huge, not just for Hank, but for Connor and Gavin. He'd have his closest friends there, and the person he adored. "You could even bring Sumo!" 

Gavin didn't look too happy about that but if he really didn't want Sumo there he would have said something aloud. 

Hank chuckled slightly, leaning back in his chair. "Maybe next time. I won't stay long, probably. Just for food and to watch you guys open presents." It was more than Connor had hoped for, and would gladly take it. He didn't think pushing him now to promise to stay later, he'd just see what happened the next day. Who knows, maybe he'd end up staying later from being so distracted. 

They ended their visit after going over the details and the two made their way back home. That's truly what it had become to him, his home. He loved it there, he liked how it made him feel even if it was an impossible emotion to describe. He knew he felt safe and comfortable there, he knew it felt right. 

He liked sharing responsibility, feeding the cats, cooking, even cleaning. He loved when the two would bump into each other, often leading to laughter that filled the whole house. It was nice when there was music, but he also liked the calm silence that didn't need to be filled. 

When he steps in it's like a hug from Gavin himself, one that makes him smile no matter what. Home is that spot in his heart that said, ‘I’m safe.’ 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos keep me alive!
> 
> My Connor RP blog is [here!](https://connorandersons-blog.tumblr.com/) Please feel free to come interact with me!


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